confession#132.

my own corollary: i came to camp expecting a break from home, but ended up finding my home.
i miss my camp family. not like you miss your phone when you lose it for a couple hours. i ache-inside miss them.
camp is big. when you share something big with people, they become part of your life and you will never forget them.
maybe you'll forget some names. maybe you'll forget who did what stupid thing that got everyone in trouble. but you'll always remember that one time you spent ten weeks in a special place and your lives changed.
and when you all get together again, it's like nothing changed.
only in the case of our reunion at la vida, the weather is colder and you can see the lake from cabin 5's deck, since there's no leaves on the trees.
but other than that it's like just another sunday night. with a little bit more screaming, since it's been 4 months and not just a weekend since we saw each other.
driving up to camp feels like coming home. not just like other familiar places; i like school(usually), i like ridge haven, i like my best friend's house, but they aren't home. and the people i'm with there(besides my best friend) don't feel quite like my family, as much as i love them.
camp is as much, if not more, of home as my house. i always feel like i belong there. i can be however i want and know everybody loves me one way or the other; i don't worry about what people are thinking if i'm not talking, i don't wonder if i'm annoying anybody when it gets late and i can't stop talking. i never feel left out or lonely there. a few places have one or two of those things true about them, but nowhere else has all of them.
i'm always sad to leave it. today i didn't cry until i got back to my house, but i did cry. partly because i was sad, but mostly because i was happy. happy that we're still the same, happy for the little bit of time we had together, happy that so many of us are going back. happy that camp makes my life SO happy.
no matter whether it was more happy or sad tears, i felt real stupid after a while; i'll be back in 166 days. i need to calm down. still, it's home. i like it there. and i don't get to see my family there that often. i see some of them sometimes, but never everyone together.
i miss you guys. and i love yall for real.