while writing that last post, i had my itunes shuffling, and this song by the newsboys came up. and as i was typing but not really listening to the song, this line stuck out.
the darkness laughs as the wound destroys, and it turns your prayers to noise.
it's the hardest when the person you have to forgive is yourself.
if i wrote down all my thoughts, i would be rehashing this. so i won't do that.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
attention.
every single camper wants attention from at least one staffer.
i've only ever known one camper who i would honestly say did not.
some come to camp FOR the staff(i was that kid). but even the ones who come for the activities, to make friends, or because their parents make them, still care about the staff even if it's not what they love most about camp. everybody wants you to like them.
there are the ones that(literally) hang all over their cabin leader, clearly campaigning for favorite-of-the-week. but there are others who more quietly admire you.
both types equally deserve you-time, but if you aren't careful, the first type can end up being the only ones to get it. when you have two or three that are always begging to hold your hand or sit by you, or if you have a couple of difficult ones that take up a lot of time, it can be easy to forget the quiet ones.
all of them need to get some kind of special attention from you during their time at camp. maybe you ask them to sit by you at a meal or at canteen, maybe you give them a special job during cleanup, or braid their hair at bedtime. but somehow, they need to go home remembering that you cared about them. if every one goes home thinking "i bet i was their favorite camper", you've had a great week.
story time.
this year, we had lots and lots of twins in my unit. as in, almost every week we had one set or more. the first week we had two sets of twins and one set of triplets.
those triplets are some of the most adorable girls you will ever meet. all their names started with E, but i'll call them A, B, and C.
A and B were in my cabin. A was the kind that makes it obvious that she thinks her cabin leader is the best thing since caramel filled churros. i loved her. but she was a subcategory of this type which i call an "aggressive campaigner," meaning, if i turned my attention from her for more than five minutes, she would start acting up. not really in a bad way, but she would get louder than everyone else, usually interrupt whichever girl i was listening to, something else mildly disruptive like that. now she was great and she knew i loved her(and she would ask all the time if she was my favorite[to which you must always answer "i love ALL my girls too much to have favorites!" and this usually makes them just as happy as if you answered yes]), but when i would explain to her that i loved everybody else and wanted to spend time with all of them, she would get upset and go cling to someone else(she actually told me on the last day "tell the people in charge that i want to be in *certain other's* cabin next year!" which made me kinda sad).
C was fun too, and special since i didn't see her as much as the other two, her being in another cabin and all. but B won the best-that-week award*.
she was the quiet admiration type. she watched everything i did, and anytime i was talking she would be visibly listening(like you can just look at her and you know she's hanging on every word), even if i was just talking about what might be for lunch. she wasn't so much shy as she was willing to let other people talk first.(just like i always was with my staffers! i don't think most of them realized how much i liked them, because i didn't take enough chances to talk to them. i love getting campers like that, it makes me feel like i wasn't the weird one in the group)
thankfully, i had an awesome staffer working with me(probably the best i've ever had), so when she was around, A would jump on her(so would everyone else actually, they didn't get to see her much). the second night, i took advantage of this and used that time to hang out with B. and when people weren't fighting over me, she really had a lot to say, plus she's super funny.
i've had lots of girls like B, before and after her. but it was only this year, when i had her, that i saw how important it is to make a real effort to give each of them a little bit of my time just for them.
i can't think any witty sentence to close this with, so here's a random picture from 2008 staff orientation.
can't remember who drew it...but i took the picture.
*by which i mean i remembered her more happily than i did any others from that week. i don't keep a list, tell the "winner", or treat them any differently than the rest.
i've only ever known one camper who i would honestly say did not.
some come to camp FOR the staff(i was that kid). but even the ones who come for the activities, to make friends, or because their parents make them, still care about the staff even if it's not what they love most about camp. everybody wants you to like them.
there are the ones that(literally) hang all over their cabin leader, clearly campaigning for favorite-of-the-week. but there are others who more quietly admire you.
both types equally deserve you-time, but if you aren't careful, the first type can end up being the only ones to get it. when you have two or three that are always begging to hold your hand or sit by you, or if you have a couple of difficult ones that take up a lot of time, it can be easy to forget the quiet ones.
all of them need to get some kind of special attention from you during their time at camp. maybe you ask them to sit by you at a meal or at canteen, maybe you give them a special job during cleanup, or braid their hair at bedtime. but somehow, they need to go home remembering that you cared about them. if every one goes home thinking "i bet i was their favorite camper", you've had a great week.
story time.
this year, we had lots and lots of twins in my unit. as in, almost every week we had one set or more. the first week we had two sets of twins and one set of triplets.
those triplets are some of the most adorable girls you will ever meet. all their names started with E, but i'll call them A, B, and C.
A and B were in my cabin. A was the kind that makes it obvious that she thinks her cabin leader is the best thing since caramel filled churros. i loved her. but she was a subcategory of this type which i call an "aggressive campaigner," meaning, if i turned my attention from her for more than five minutes, she would start acting up. not really in a bad way, but she would get louder than everyone else, usually interrupt whichever girl i was listening to, something else mildly disruptive like that. now she was great and she knew i loved her(and she would ask all the time if she was my favorite[to which you must always answer "i love ALL my girls too much to have favorites!" and this usually makes them just as happy as if you answered yes]), but when i would explain to her that i loved everybody else and wanted to spend time with all of them, she would get upset and go cling to someone else(she actually told me on the last day "tell the people in charge that i want to be in *certain other's* cabin next year!" which made me kinda sad).
C was fun too, and special since i didn't see her as much as the other two, her being in another cabin and all. but B won the best-that-week award*.
she was the quiet admiration type. she watched everything i did, and anytime i was talking she would be visibly listening(like you can just look at her and you know she's hanging on every word), even if i was just talking about what might be for lunch. she wasn't so much shy as she was willing to let other people talk first.(just like i always was with my staffers! i don't think most of them realized how much i liked them, because i didn't take enough chances to talk to them. i love getting campers like that, it makes me feel like i wasn't the weird one in the group)
thankfully, i had an awesome staffer working with me(probably the best i've ever had), so when she was around, A would jump on her(so would everyone else actually, they didn't get to see her much). the second night, i took advantage of this and used that time to hang out with B. and when people weren't fighting over me, she really had a lot to say, plus she's super funny.
i've had lots of girls like B, before and after her. but it was only this year, when i had her, that i saw how important it is to make a real effort to give each of them a little bit of my time just for them.
i can't think any witty sentence to close this with, so here's a random picture from 2008 staff orientation.
*by which i mean i remembered her more happily than i did any others from that week. i don't keep a list, tell the "winner", or treat them any differently than the rest.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
if.
if i didn't work at camp....
-i would make twice as much money.
-i would get to sleep in every day, or at the very least, sleep at night without ever being woken up or having to keep anyone quiet.
-i could have my phone and computer as often as i wanted.
-i would never have to pretend to like collards, grits, or hot dogs.
and i would be miserable.
but who cares about any of that?
because i work at camp...
-i'm doing something worth more than any amount of money.
-i go to bed physically and mentally exhausted, looking, smelling and feeling disgusting, but happier than i ever am anywhere else.
-instead of spending my day sitting on facebook wondering what i'm doing with my life, i spend it knowing i'm doing exactly what God MADE my life for.
-i get flory's peach cobbler and the other 99% of camp food that i wish i could eat every day at school.
-i've met some of the best friends i'll ever have.
-i am someone's elizabeth. someone's britnie. someone's chasity. i'm pouring Jesus into these girls and helping them get excited about missions just like my old heroes did for me.
i'm only 20 and i've already had my dream job for four years.
i am ridiculously, undeservedly, mind blowingly blessed.
thanks God. this is cool. =]
-i would make twice as much money.
-i would get to sleep in every day, or at the very least, sleep at night without ever being woken up or having to keep anyone quiet.
-i could have my phone and computer as often as i wanted.
-i would never have to pretend to like collards, grits, or hot dogs.
and i would be miserable.
but who cares about any of that?
because i work at camp...
-i'm doing something worth more than any amount of money.
-i go to bed physically and mentally exhausted, looking, smelling and feeling disgusting, but happier than i ever am anywhere else.
-instead of spending my day sitting on facebook wondering what i'm doing with my life, i spend it knowing i'm doing exactly what God MADE my life for.
-i get flory's peach cobbler and the other 99% of camp food that i wish i could eat every day at school.
-i've met some of the best friends i'll ever have.
-i am someone's elizabeth. someone's britnie. someone's chasity. i'm pouring Jesus into these girls and helping them get excited about missions just like my old heroes did for me.
i'm only 20 and i've already had my dream job for four years.
i am ridiculously, undeservedly, mind blowingly blessed.
thanks God. this is cool. =]
the camp version of syllabus shock.
no matter how many years we come back, everybody has to reapply to work at la vida again.
i remember the first time i filled out the application, not believing that i was really doing what i'd dreamed of since seventh grade(funny to say since i was now only in eleventh grade). every step of the process made me feel scarily inadequate.
it must have worked out okay; i'm now applying for my 5th summer. i don't worry anymore about whether i'll get the job(i still get just as excited every year when i get the letter though), i just get a little tired of answering the same questions year after year. but there's one part of it that i love.
every year i glance through it, look at what i need my references to say and stuff, and i see what all is expected of us. and i think "I measure up to all this? seriously?"
and then i thank God. by some obscene amount of grace, i have what it takes. if you think about it, i guess that's the only way any of us do. we could never be all that by ourselves! and if we tried, we would have really disappointing summers. now that i think of it, i know what that's like. i may need a whole other post later. or tomorrow...it's getting late.
i'm so glad the one thing i'm good at is the thing i love most in the world.
i remember the first time i filled out the application, not believing that i was really doing what i'd dreamed of since seventh grade(funny to say since i was now only in eleventh grade). every step of the process made me feel scarily inadequate.
it must have worked out okay; i'm now applying for my 5th summer. i don't worry anymore about whether i'll get the job(i still get just as excited every year when i get the letter though), i just get a little tired of answering the same questions year after year. but there's one part of it that i love.
every year i glance through it, look at what i need my references to say and stuff, and i see what all is expected of us. and i think "I measure up to all this? seriously?"
and then i thank God. by some obscene amount of grace, i have what it takes. if you think about it, i guess that's the only way any of us do. we could never be all that by ourselves! and if we tried, we would have really disappointing summers. now that i think of it, i know what that's like. i may need a whole other post later. or tomorrow...it's getting late.
i'm so glad the one thing i'm good at is the thing i love most in the world.
confession#21 and 29.
and sometimes, you take a shower and find a bruise underneath a big splotch of dirt.
i already bruise like a peach(name the quote?), but i don't shower much at camp. to non-camp people reading this, that probably sounds really really gross(and it probably is), but if you know me at all, you know that if i have the choice between a shower, sleeping, or being with people, the shower will be the least of my priorities.
once i came home for a weekend and the first thing i did was go take a bath. the second i got in the water, little brown clouds(dirt or sweat or whatever i guess)fell off me. that's the first time i've ever been really grossed out by how disgusting i get at camp. but i think the dirtier you are at the end of the week, the better the week was; my best weeks have always been the ones where i never had time to take a shower because i was having too much fun with my girls during the day and the staff at night.
confession#132.
my own corollary: i came to camp expecting a break from home, but ended up finding my home.
i miss my camp family. not like you miss your phone when you lose it for a couple hours. i ache-inside miss them.
camp is big. when you share something big with people, they become part of your life and you will never forget them.
maybe you'll forget some names. maybe you'll forget who did what stupid thing that got everyone in trouble. but you'll always remember that one time you spent ten weeks in a special place and your lives changed.
and when you all get together again, it's like nothing changed.
only in the case of our reunion at la vida, the weather is colder and you can see the lake from cabin 5's deck, since there's no leaves on the trees.
but other than that it's like just another sunday night. with a little bit more screaming, since it's been 4 months and not just a weekend since we saw each other.
driving up to camp feels like coming home. not just like other familiar places; i like school(usually), i like ridge haven, i like my best friend's house, but they aren't home. and the people i'm with there(besides my best friend) don't feel quite like my family, as much as i love them.
camp is as much, if not more, of home as my house. i always feel like i belong there. i can be however i want and know everybody loves me one way or the other; i don't worry about what people are thinking if i'm not talking, i don't wonder if i'm annoying anybody when it gets late and i can't stop talking. i never feel left out or lonely there. a few places have one or two of those things true about them, but nowhere else has all of them.
i'm always sad to leave it. today i didn't cry until i got back to my house, but i did cry. partly because i was sad, but mostly because i was happy. happy that we're still the same, happy for the little bit of time we had together, happy that so many of us are going back. happy that camp makes my life SO happy.
no matter whether it was more happy or sad tears, i felt real stupid after a while; i'll be back in 166 days. i need to calm down. still, it's home. i like it there. and i don't get to see my family there that often. i see some of them sometimes, but never everyone together.
i miss you guys. and i love yall for real.
Monday, December 19, 2011
camp confessions#43
i've decided to do a series of posts explaining the select confessions that i listed a few posts ago.(see summercampconfessions.tumblr.com for more of the same)
i really only relate to this from when i was a camper myself in 2003, not as a staffer(hope can; that wizards of waverly place one). i went out on the back deck on the first day, and someone had left their cute towel with mickey mouse and all his friends on it. i asked the cabin leader if it was anybody's. she said no and asked if i wanted it.
of course i did. i still have it.
now on fridays when the girls are packing, and i remind them to make sure they get their things off the deck, i tell them that story.
the moral? if you like your towel, pack it. if not, feel free to leave it and make some camper's, or more likely a staffer's, day. =]
of course i did. i still have it.
now on fridays when the girls are packing, and i remind them to make sure they get their things off the deck, i tell them that story.
the moral? if you like your towel, pack it. if not, feel free to leave it and make some camper's, or more likely a staffer's, day. =]
i was made for camp.
my name is linda, and i am a summer camp addict.
(ok. that isn't a problem and this is not AA. but i thought it had a nice ring to it)
i have always loved the idea of camp. i couldn't wait to be old enough to go. i went to camp edisto in branchville, south carolina when i was ten-almost-eleven(i always went in june, but my birthday is in july, so i always hyphenate my at-camp age) and again when i was eleven-almost-twelve, and loved it both years. but in 2003, still eleven-almost-twelve, i went to camp la vida, three days after getting back from edisto. from then on it had my heart, and it still hasn't given it back.
it's eight years later, and i've worked there for four. i've given up mission trips, vacations, weeks on weeks of sleeping in, and jobs that pay three times as much. but i don't think i've missed a thing.
i live for camp. and if you're reading this, you probably do too. if you need heat, constant walking, little kids surrounding you, semi-obnoxious songs in your head all day, and mass produced institutional food in your system, then i'm writing for you.
what you need to know about me:
-i'm 20 and a junior at a great little Bible college in south carolina, majoring in youth ministry with a concentration in adventure education, hoping to someday have a permanent camp job somewhere, if i ever graduate.
-i'm very southern, and so is my camp.
-i'm five feet tall and have very small feet. most of my 6th grade campers are my height or taller, and most 4th grade or older wear a size or two bigger shoe than i do.
-i've spent part of all the past nine summers at camp la vida, the first five as a camper for five days a year, the past four as a staffer for ten weeks a year.
-i consider the first day of camp a holiday.
-i love to make lists. kind of like i'm doing right now.
-i LOVE talking to other people from other camps. my fellow la vida staffers are like my sisters, but meeting cool people from other camps is like discovering distant cousins.
-i do what i do for God. he saved me through camp, and i'm beyond thankful that he's letting me serve him there now.
the posts below are all imported from my other blog. i switched because i wanted people to be able to more easily get to my camp-related posts, instead of having them wrapped up in between my posts about everyday life at school.
i'm trying to write for the general camp lover, not just for myself or for those who have worked at my own camp. i'll throw in little anecdotes for them too of course, but for the most part, i hope any camper or counselor can relate to what i have to say.
subscribe, share me, and enjoy! and visit some of these others:
summercampconfessions.tumblr.com
campcounselormoments.tumblr.com
(ok. that isn't a problem and this is not AA. but i thought it had a nice ring to it)
i have always loved the idea of camp. i couldn't wait to be old enough to go. i went to camp edisto in branchville, south carolina when i was ten-almost-eleven(i always went in june, but my birthday is in july, so i always hyphenate my at-camp age) and again when i was eleven-almost-twelve, and loved it both years. but in 2003, still eleven-almost-twelve, i went to camp la vida, three days after getting back from edisto. from then on it had my heart, and it still hasn't given it back.
it's eight years later, and i've worked there for four. i've given up mission trips, vacations, weeks on weeks of sleeping in, and jobs that pay three times as much. but i don't think i've missed a thing.
i live for camp. and if you're reading this, you probably do too. if you need heat, constant walking, little kids surrounding you, semi-obnoxious songs in your head all day, and mass produced institutional food in your system, then i'm writing for you.
what you need to know about me:
-i'm 20 and a junior at a great little Bible college in south carolina, majoring in youth ministry with a concentration in adventure education, hoping to someday have a permanent camp job somewhere, if i ever graduate.
-i'm very southern, and so is my camp.
-i'm five feet tall and have very small feet. most of my 6th grade campers are my height or taller, and most 4th grade or older wear a size or two bigger shoe than i do.
-i've spent part of all the past nine summers at camp la vida, the first five as a camper for five days a year, the past four as a staffer for ten weeks a year.
-i consider the first day of camp a holiday.
-i love to make lists. kind of like i'm doing right now.
-i LOVE talking to other people from other camps. my fellow la vida staffers are like my sisters, but meeting cool people from other camps is like discovering distant cousins.
-i do what i do for God. he saved me through camp, and i'm beyond thankful that he's letting me serve him there now.
the posts below are all imported from my other blog. i switched because i wanted people to be able to more easily get to my camp-related posts, instead of having them wrapped up in between my posts about everyday life at school.
i'm trying to write for the general camp lover, not just for myself or for those who have worked at my own camp. i'll throw in little anecdotes for them too of course, but for the most part, i hope any camper or counselor can relate to what i have to say.
subscribe, share me, and enjoy! and visit some of these others:
summercampconfessions.tumblr.com
campcounselormoments.tumblr.com
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