midlife crisis=over.

[from the week of june 6-10]
i haven't been myself. i'll tell the whole story in my end-of-the-summer post. but for now, just know that it's so far been an off summer. i call it a mid-career crisis; i'm still shooting for ten years here so i'm hoping this is the middle but early.
i have myself figured out now though. remember how everyone has been quoting my principle of "don't make God a part of your summer, make yourself part of God's summer"? i had planned on practicing what i preached, i really had...i just didn't realize that i had my own little agenda along with that. and when it started falling in, i lost it.
God isn't a fan of my need to have a plan and know what's coming next. so when i set a whole bunch of expectations, he will 99% of the time shake them up and give me something completely different. i wouldn't say that he disappoints me, but it always throws me for a while and i whine at him until i figure out that everything turned out for the wonderful.
it took me much longer than it should have to throw out MY plan for the summer and accept HIS way. i still have a whole lot of doubts about everything, but i have the strength to fight it now.
ok. stories.
this was a difficult group. i loved each of them individually but having this many wild-child-types in one cabin is not my favorite. but on thursday for decision night, one of my worst ones writes on her card that she wants to be a missionary. i didn't expect it to be legit, but as always i took her aside to talk to her, and she opens with "i just feel like i've been ignoring what God wants, but now i'm ready to listen. and i know he wants me to go share his love with people for the rest of my life." this child is in 4th grade, by the way. and she's talking like a 20 year-old about how much God has her hurting for people who don't know him.
and for the funnier side, i always have at least one camper a week that asks me about my ring. so this week i'm walking my adventure rec group to the field, and one of my girls asks "miss linda are you married?" and i said no, and she asks why i have a ring on, and i say i'm married to Jesus(how else do you explain a purity ring to a 3rd grader?)and she asks if i have a boyfriend and i say "no, i don't need boys" and she asks "do you wanna marry one?" and i say well yeah, someday, and then another one jumps in and says "well just make sure you don't wait until you're 50!" and i ask why, and she says "cuz you'll look all nasty and no one will want you!"
then thursday night was the best. our international missionary did a worship service for our "staff meeting", and it was everything i needed. camper worship is all well and good, but it was so good for all of us to have our own distraction free time with God and each other and listen to jason say awesome things that are this time directed to us. not that we didn't love his talks for the kids. he was such a blessing this week.
i'm not used to camp being this much of a challenge. i'm not usually so tired. i don't usually have to fight so hard to squeeze some Jesus into these girls(i guess because i usually have more of him in me). satan is just attacking me all over the place and i am so much weaker than i thought i was. but i feel like God will step in soon.
i love my job. i do, i do. i still can't believe i forgot that.