#3wordstodescribeme

that's the top trending topic on twitter right now. whenever anyone asks me that, i think of my very first camp la vida interview.
and when i saw that today, and thought that, i realized that it's pretty close to the anniversary of that day. i thought for a second about waiting until then to write this, but then #3wordstodescribeme probably wouldn't be trending anymore so the post wouldn't make sense.
february 18, 2008. i was scared out of my mind, heart beating so fast i can only remember feeling that close to a heart attack two other times in my life, and wondering how i could possibly convince this unknown, scary woman that i deserved to work at her camp.
and i thought, not even thinking to pray for it to happen or wondering at all if it really would, that i really wished i could talk to elizabeth teal right then. i would feel so much better, and she would tell me how great i was, and she gives the best hugs in the world(for real. no one i've met since has beaten her yet).
me and my mom get there, and i'm contemplating telling her to wait in the car, but like the dentist's office, this just felt like one of those places where i'd have a nervous breakdown if i didn't have my mom walk me in. i tell the receptionist or whatever you'd call her that i'm here to see cindy skelton. she says she's with someone, points me to a chair, but i was too nervous to sit down, so as i do in any unfamiliar room, i gravitated to the bookshelves, and read the GA magazines until i heard people coming.
and i look up to see my at-the-time favorite person in the whole entire world, my hero, the person i most wanted and needed to see at that moment, walking out with cindy.
for once in my life, she had to come give me a hug first. i was too busy standing with my mouth open. and even once i broke out of my thoughts and started talking, i think i was still too nervous about everything else to be totally myself, because i don't remember talking very much or very fast, or jumping around at all.
i do remember asking her to cheat for me and tell me some of the questions cindy would ask, and i especially remember her asking, first thing after the initial yay-hi-allthehugs-howareyou-omgimissedyou, what i was there for. and i thought, duh, i'm applying to be you, silly. we've talked about this since i was thirteen?
the room i interviewed in was way bigger than i felt was necessary for just two people; it adds to the scare factor. it was this big conference room type thing, just like what you see in movies where people work in offices. i remember there being an echo...but it may have just seemed like that to me. i felt after every single question like i was bombing it, and i kept thinking, she hired all the crazy people you love, so it shouldn't be an issue if you actually talk and be yourself. but i couldn't.*
now when i asked elizabeth what cindy would ask me, she gave me a general idea but couldn't remember any specific questions, except for, you guessed it: the three words one.
yet when that came up, it took me a while to think of them. but i finally answered loud, happy, and fun.
she gave me a look that over the years i've probably seen a hundred times. it's kind of, surprised, but not in a bad way, skeptical but not in a negative way. it's not a bad look; it actually makes me laugh. i get it when i say things like "i never need to take a break" or "can i pleeeeease clean the dining hall since i'm not a cabin leader this week?" or if i volunteer to run to unit 3 and get the craft stuff when it's 99 degrees out.
anyways. due to my nervous as all get out demeanor, i can see why she'd need some convincing that i'm not a shy little introvert who would hate skit night.
annnnnd you know the rest of the story. i obviously got the job(the letter came on the 29th, which is a special day anyways since it only comes around every 4 years, but now it's one of my favorite days in my whole life. i was as proud of that letter as if it had come from hogwarts on my 11th birthday), and i love cindy. i can make her laugh now. (it's a sign of my being totally comfortable around you if i can make you laugh, that means i'm being myself, and myself is hilarious)
around this time of year, there are new people like 16-year-old me going through the same thing. i should pray for them.

*looking back, i think it was mostly scary because i had assumed for three years that i would someday be working there. now that i was looking the opportunity straight on, knowing it was possible that i might not get that, i had no idea what i would do if that happened. i had no alternative. my whole life was built around the idea that camp would one day BE my life. now, it's even better than i imagined. because camp isn't the center of my life; it's the center of where God wants me, but if he put me somewhere else, i'd be okay.(i mean i'd complain a LOT at first, and i'd doubt it for a good while before finally going along with it, but eventually i'd be okay. i wouldn't be lost and borderline suicidal or anything)